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A few weeks ago, I was telling my daughter that I needed to get some new candles. She looked at me kind of funny and pointed to a perfectly good candle sitting on a nearby cabinet. “There’s a candle right there,” she said, in a way that let me know she was quite puzzled.
“Well…I’m saving that one because I really like it,” I replied.
My daughter’s response stopped me in my tracks: “Then next time, don’t buy it.”
She has a point, doesn’t she? If we aren’t going to use it, what’s the point in having it? I did plan on using that candle, but for a special occasion.
She really got me thinking. What else am I putting off using, or doing, or believing or feeling? And when will a special enough day come to use the white napkins, or the good dishes or the candle that you really love? How about today?
I did burn that candle that night and every time I see it, it reminds me that my life is now. Today is the day to use the candle I love (and so is tomorrow and the day after that.) Today is the day to do the thing that scares me a bit, because it stretches me out of my comfort zone. Today is the day to believe that dreams do come true. And today is the day to decide to feel happy and to share that happiness with the people I love.
What are you putting off using, or doing or believing? Why not proclaim that today is the day to use it, or do it or believe it? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Thanks so much for sharing.
TOO FUNNY! I not only hoard the best candles, but also the soaps that come in packaging so pretty that I don’t want to open it. It’s time to rip those babies open and take a break from Irish Spring!
This is a wonderful post. You are so right, Aby, and my mind is spinning with what I am putting off using, doing, and believing. My life is now … those 4 words are SO powerful. Thank you for sharing this!
That reminds me of my grandmother. She had some lovely things in her home that she never used. I asked her why she didn’t use and enjoy them. She said it was because she was saving them, but she never said what she was saving them for, and she died with those things still in drawers. I promised myself that I would try always to use the things I love.
i so loved these wise words of you today…your daughter sounds a lot like mine, aren’t daughters great! I learned a few years ago to live NOW, while I was waiting for the results of a tumor test in hospital and i thought I really understood the living now thing so good, and I did then…but from time to time i still forget and it is your mail today that reminded me again about this wisdom. Thank you and your girl!
Fantastic story and such a good reminder! I think all of us do that. I have so many things put away that are for special occasions which have never come! Clothes I’ve never worn, dishes I’ve never used! You’re right! NOW is the time. Thank you for this message!
I keep a “good” candle in the bathroom and light it every morning while I do my hair and makeup!
Point taken! My 6yr old dd does that to me too! And yes, what are we waiting/saving it for?!? Thanks for reminding me to live in the NOW! 😀 Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Your daughter is a wise young lady. I have a set of china that was given to me about thirty years ago from a friend who passed. Her Mother said she wanted them to go to me because her daughter was painfully shy & didn’t make many friends. My friend, Virginia, was frail & others mistook her frail shyness as being an odd ball. The china had belonged to Virginia’s grand-mother & were very special to her & she knew I would appreciate their sentimental value. Since I was afraid to hurt them, I rarely used them. Last year after going through a brief health crisis, I decided what I’m I doing not enjoying what I have? They come out of the box (yes, I’m still a little too cautious) on more occasions & especially every Thanksgiving. Remember—you will always find candles you like—enjoy—buy more!
Just today, before reading your post, I decided I was going to use up some “good” plain white cardstock for my December Daily album. I was going back and forth on whether or not this was a good use of such good paper when I finally told myself – Self, you have had this paper for over a year and have not used it yet. If December Daily isn’t good enough, then what is? Are you going to wait a whole nother year for something better? Thanks for the reinforcement that I made the right choice!
I had an aunt (by marriage) that was always saying, “I’ll save it for ‘best’…” whenever you gave her a gift or she made something like her own beautiful hand-embroidered handkerchiefs, pillowcases, tablecloths, etc.
When she passed away, we unloaded multiple chests-of-drawers STUFFED FULL of all those items. Brand-new robes and nightgowns, even new undergarments still in the packaging.
She had surrounded herself with nice things, but they were never enjoyed. I vowed that day to make every day Sunday, and use my “Sunday Best”.
I really thought my mom was the only one who did this. Because she was an adamant “saver” of things for a good purpose I started to do that, too – and sometimes I still do forget to “be here now”. Thanks for the reminder.
My grandparents saved things too. They used old worn out things while having a stock pile of new items. The great depression took its toll on many people. They learned to save, reuse and never go without again. They passed on values and fears to some, but others have forgotten. The economy is once again in crisis, so may more will learn how to save and waste not.
My mom seemed to always enjoy the finer things in a budget minded way. I viewed things a little differently. She criticized me for not registering for china when we got married. I got nice silverware and plain everyday corell wear; but not china, crystal, etc. I wanted things we needed, practical things not things I would need to keep from breaking, no nick knacks, etc.
So, I get what your daughter is saying… Use what you have and enjoy it or in my case you don’t need to worry about what you don’t have:)
Joyce and Judy- that sounds exactly like my Grandma! She had closets full of sheets, towels, nightgowns, robes, soaps, shoes, clothes, etc., that she was “saving for company or for good” and sadly she never got to use any of that stuff before she passed away. I have a few of her things and I use them all the time and smile when I think of her, knowing I am using these things “for good”. 🙂
A great reminder to pull out the stops and use those items you are saving for a special occasion now rather than passing them on when you are gone. Just put out the floating candles I’ve had in my china cabinet for the “right” occasion. My family is more important than any guests we could ever invite over so we are going to enjoy them this weekend! :o)
When my youngest sister died suddenly and totally unexpectedly in her kitchen in October 2008, it devastated our family. She was only 47 years old. Her husband went to grief counseling and the counselor helped him with his grief – they had been working so hard, raising two wonderful children, saving money, working on the house, waiting to “use the good stuff’, travel, spend time together. We all now, understand all too well, the value of “using the good stuff” – not only tangible things, but the intangibles too. Phone calls that aren’t made, e-mails that aren’t sent, sister get-aways that are planned but never happen. The value of “using the good stuff” can never be emphasized enough. Living life for today is so important. What are we all waiting for?? Take that trip, hug those kids, call a friend or family member, dance in the rain……. the list is endless.
You are so right Aby. Life is now. Why is it so hard to break the patterns of our parents when we know of a better way? I think we want to carry on their memories, but at tremendous cost to our own lives. I am going to change this in my life-today! Thanks for the push!
That is so true and the reminder I needed today. Thank you!!
This post brought to mind my college room mate. Her mother served them on her best china once a week. She said, “Your best china is for important people. And there is no one more important to me than my family!” I could not argue with that line of thought. We pull out our best china on Thanksgiving and use it every night through our Christmas Holidays.
Wow, thanks everyone for your powerful comments and sharing.
Deb, your post brought tears to my eyes. I’m so sorry about your loss. I thank you for sharing your perspective…so very powerful.
Aby
Over 20 years ago (when I was on a trip in high school) I made my first visit to a Godiva Chocolate store. I had heard for years that Godiva was the best. All I could afford were two truffles in the beautiful gold box. My friends kept asking me when I was going to finally eat and I said I was saving it. Well, I saved it so long that it was stale when I decided to finally eat it. I was right not to eat it on the trip where I would have shoved it in my mouth and barely tasted it. I wish I would have saved it until I had some quiet time to sit and savor it instead of hoard it for so long. Balance!