I’m super excited to share the following interview with Bernadette Noll, author of the book Slow Family Living: 75 Simple Ways to Slow Down, Connect and Create More Joy. I really connected with the premise of this book, slowing down, connecting and creating joy, so I said yes when I was offered a review copy. Then, I really fell in love with the messages inside as well as the author’s approach. Want to learn more. Read on as Bernadette gives us some inside scoop about the book, what prompted her to write it and what you can find inside.
Tell us a little bit about yourself and what prompted you to write Slow Family Living.
Carrie Contey and I were holding a class on Creating A Family Mission Statement and during the class the recurring theme was that people were feeling really pressured to perform – to do things a certain way and to sign on for way more than they really wanted to. There was also this feeling that family life was completely out of their control because of the messages they were getting from society, media, and even from friends and family. We joked that like Slow Food, we needed Slow Family, to give people a chance to connect to and find joy in the process. That afternoon our comment turned into a reality and Carrie and I wrote the manifesto which still feels so right to us today – more than 5 years later!
In the book, you describe “slow family living” as a way of life. Can you tell us about this way of life and how it came to be?
Slow Family is really about doing things the way that works for your family, connecting to the people and the process. It’s about stepping off the fast track if only long enough to ask yourself, “do we like this?” “Is this working for us?” It’s not about doing nothing, it’s about doing things with intention – and about celebrating your own unique family and the individuals that are a part of that family. Lots of messages we get tell us family life comes last on the priority list, Slow Family is about giving family life space and priority and celebration.
What are some of the benefits of slowing down?
When you slow down you can really tune into what you want and need – as individuals and as a family. You can also be really present because the things you’re taking on are things you’ve really thought about – be it a birthday party or a committee meeting or a volunteer squad. There is less resentment in doing things this way and so there is naturally more joy. That may sound like a hefty result but it really is true.
In addition, we are teaching our children to tune into their own self and to be clear about what they say yes and no to.
I love how you describe the book Slow Family Living as being like a cookbook. Can you share what you mean by this?
I want people to look at these “recipes” and add in their own ingredients – who’s in your family? What do you love? Where do you live? How can you add in some ingredients of your own? Sure you can use my exact recipe, or you can make it work with who and what you have in your own house. No hard and fast “have-tos” rather just serving suggestions that you can tweak in the way that works for you.
One of the points you made in the forward really jumped out at me as important and often overlooked, it is the idea that we have our children as adults for way longer than we have them as children. How does the Slow Family Living way of life play into that idea?
We think of parenting as being always about having small children, but really, that is such a small part of parenting. My own mom now has a 62 year old daughter! So how do we create connected, joyful relationships with these people with whom we will be adults together? What do you want that to look like? What kind of connection do you want? How can you celebrate your family now? So that you can celebrate together 20, 40, 60 years from now? I am lucky to have a reference point for that with my own parents and my own siblings – they are my favorite people in the world! Lots of what I learned from my own family life is reflected in this book. But even if you didn’t come from that I truly believe it can be created, intentionally.
The book offers 75 ways to slow down, connect and create more joy. Of these methods and mindsets, which one or two have had the most impact on your own family life.
Well, from a utilitarian sense, perhaps the Blitz has had the most impact. It gives us a quick tidy with a bit of connection! From an emotional sense, I’d say Deciding to Be Done is a biggie. There is a never ending list of things to do in family life so sometimes we just have to decide to be done with the tasks and focus on the people.
If you could only share one idea with us about your book, what would it be?
We get so many messages that family life is this arduous task that we really just need to “get through.” I want people to feel that family life is the well, rather than the drain, where they can go to fill up, find comfort and strength and have fun. Together. Now and 30, 40, 50 years from now!
Such good stuff! Many thanks to Bernadette for sharing her thoughts with us today! if you’re interested in learning more, Slow Family Living is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle Editions. Enjoy!
