Now don’t get me wrong. I’m far from being a parenting expert, and I’m not a parenting blogger. But with nearly 16 years of parenting experience under my belt (! – right?) and with an intentional focus on being happier and with Mother’s Day just around the corner, I have a few thoughts to share about being a happier mom. Try the ones that appeal to you, and (happily) ignore the others.
1. Prioritize your own happiness.
You deserve to be happy. But if that isn’t motivating to you then know this: when you are happy, your kids (and husband) will be happier, too. Prioritizing your own happiness is a win-win.
2. Take time for you.
Schedule time on your calendar regularly for happiness breaks. I have a friend who took a mom vacation (on her own) for a week. She came back very refreshed and happy. But, you can get similar benefits in smaller doses and by doing something different. Figure out what makes you happy, whether it’s scrapbooking, running, reading, meditating, going for a walk, or having lunch with a friend. Then stake a claim to a slice of time for this happiness-inducing activity.
3. Stop comparing.
Comparison erodes happiness. Period. Tune into what works for you, and then stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, getting, buying, achieving, etc…
4. Replace worry with planning and action.
Worry is a happiness killer. So instead of worrying about what could go wrong, figure out what “going right” looks like for you. Then, make a plan to move in that direction. And finally, start taking small steps forward.
5. Clear the clutter.
Clutter adds stress to the environment, making it harder to feel truly happy. Spend some time decluttering your home and your mind, then see how great you feel.
6. Strive for happiness instead of perfection.
If you aim for perfect, on some level it’s probably because you think this will make you happy. Take it from a recovering perfectionist: it won’t! Trying to do things perfectly leads to frustration, procrastination, and unfinished projects. Instead focus on getting things done, and see how happy it makes you.
What are your secrets to being a happier mom? Please share your ideas in the comments below.
I’ve read a lot about happiness. Two of my favorite titles are:
The Art of Happiness – Dalai Lama
Real Happiness – Sharon Salazberg
As always Aby, thanks for the tips!
Thanks for the book recommendations. I have the second one…not sure I ever finished reading it. Hmm…need to pull it out and finish! 🙂 Will check out the other one, too. Thanks again!
Aby,
I cannot believe I had to be told. It sounds so freaking obvious now I read it.
I do need to start somewhere for my quest to happiness.
Thanks.
Thanks for your comment Christel. I think that is the key – stake a claim to your happiness and then start somewhere. (Anywhere is fine. Just start.) 🙂
I would add – DRINK WATER. Dehydration = tired = cranky = unhappy mom = unhappy kids. Have your kids drink a ton of water for the same reasons. It’s amazing how much it helps, and there’s no reason not to do it! Bonus: it helps you lose weight, aids digestion, helps with muscle cramps and reduces headaches.
Excellent tip! Thank you!!
Wonderful advice! So true.. Perfectionism does kill happiness and I’m print in this entire list for a daily reminder on my kitchen board:) thanks.
Thank you! So happy to hear you plan to look at these ideas daily. 🙂
Great ideas. Some things that I have really helped me to be a happier mum: meal planning (especially the slow cooker), having cleaners for an hour once a fortnight, setting a goal a week (something that has been on my to-do list for a while) and reading at least one chapter of a novel every day. And one biggie: finding ways to be content in the present. Doing little things that make me happy right now. Putting the future aside, and enjoying this moment.
Lovely ideas, Senga! Thanks so much for sharing. I love your idea of finding ways to be content in the present. So often we put off our happiness until ________ (fill in the blank.) And yet there’s so much to be happy about right now…if we just consciously look for it! 🙂
I love the idea of reading at least one chapter a day!
Some days when I don’t get any housework done, I feel like a failure as a wife… Even though our LO is taken care and happy. The stress from a dirty home really gets to myself and my DH. And I really enjoy housework!! It’s small accomplishments that make me feel productive. So I ask DH to do as my much for our LO as possible without my help while I finish cleaning, cooking, and do the laundry. It is also “e” time apart from my LO who loves to follow me around.
Thank you Christie! In time your LO will be a BO (big one) who you have to call out of their room at dinner time. The parenting seasons change quickly.
Aby,
Love your post. It’s so true, and took me sooo many years of mommyhood to realize that just a few hours away every so often to refresh was soooo much better for everyone. I didn’t ever want my kids to feel that I didn’t have time for them, (a feeling I had often with a very busy mom) and probably erred on the other side. I felt compelled to use our time apart to clean the house, or do something else “productive”. We have to realize that nurturing ourselves can be productive, without going to the extreme of neglecting our families.
Thank you, Luci!
My take on #3: ” Tune into what works for you, and then stop worrying about what everyone else thinks of what works for you.” Perhaps because I am a single parent, I get a lot of “advice,” lovingly intended, about parenting, paying for services instead of doing things myself, etc. Bottom line is, nobody knows you, your situation, your values, or your priorities as well as you do. Look for the kernels of wisdom in what’s offered, but be the captain of your ship!
Yes – be the captain of your ship. So well put! Thank you, Linda.
Love this. It is only in the past year where I’ve made an intentional effort to take time for myself and I am much happier as a result.
Proof it works. 🙂
Aby, I happen to have “The Art of Happiness” if you’d ever care to borrow it! Apparently, I should read it! My hubby has read it, but it’s been a while. Lots of wonderful tips here — I just need to put them into practice!
Thanks Cathy! I would love to borrow it. 🙂
Love this post and the great comments. It is really sage advice–I need to get better at following it.