Today’s blog post is a question that was raised in a prior session of Quick & Simple Clutter Control. I think it demonstrates an excellent point: when it comes to decluttering all things are not created equal.
Aby – I have really noticed while working on this session that I don’t have a consistent approach to decluttering. Some things I can easily let go of and others I can’t seem to. The other day I purchased a whole bunch of new dish towels as ours were looking pretty tired. After I washed up the new ones and went to throw the old ones out I had a hard time throwing them. I am not sure why I struggle with this – I guess this isn’t really a question, just a statement that I have hopeless moments with decluttering at times.
Here was my reply: Some of the content from the Organizing 101 workshop (especially, the lesson on roadblocks) might help you pinpoint what is going on here. My guess is that deep down you are struggling with the fact that these items are still useful, and so it’s hard to let them go. But, the reason you decided to replace them is because you don’t love how they look anymore, so they don’t make you feel great anymore. I bet letting go of them would feel good.
Around here you can donate old towels to the Humane Society. I wonder if finding a good happy home for these still useful items would help you let go.
As a general statement, decluttering isn’t a linear process. There are hills and valleys. Sometimes we’re climbing up the hill and sometimes we’re sailing down the hill and it’s lots of fun! It’s okay and natural if some things are easier to let go of than others. Some things simply have a stronger pull on us than others.
It is for this reason that I recommend that when you’re starting out on your decluttering journey, you start with the easy stuff—the items that don’t have a strong pull on your heartstrings. This will allow you to make progress and enjoy the great feelings and sense of relief that comes from decluttering. This in turn fuels your motivation to keep decluttering. Over time, many of the items that once seemed hard to let go of become easier.
But…there will always be items that tug at our heartstrings stronger than others. When you get to the root cause of why an item has a hold on you (or as I like to say, when you figure out what your roadblock is) then you can develop strategies that make it easier to let go.
Have you noticed this, too—that some things are easier to let go of than others? Which items most tug at your heartstrings when decluttering?
The worst thing for me is craft supplies. And I know why–it’s because when faced with supplies that I spent good money on but have not used, I just feel guilty about having spent the money in the first place. Why didn’t I realize I’d never do that project? Why did I feel I needed EVERY journaling tag in the scrapbooking store? When I’m finally ready to admit that I’m never going to use it all up, then I don’t want to pitch the stuff because it brings up the guilt feelings. I spent the money,so I MUST keep the stuff. Even if the stuff is just making me feel bad! Maybe it’s like when monks used to wear hair shirts for penance? I don’t know, but I do wish I could change it.
I used to have this same issue all the time as well but, with practice, I have (nearly) resolved it within myself. I try and think to myself if I would really be upset if I lost the item in question in a fire. If I wouldn’t replace it then it goes. If an item I have paid good money for is sitting there not being used the money is wasted anyway. I always like to think that I would be happier if SOMEONE was using the item – just not me (this is the rule I use myself when shopping at the thrift store – if I don’t buy some cute thing then someone else gets to enjoy it). I definitely have a very hard time with things that are still ‘useful’ like old towels etc. I just can’t bring myself to throw them in the garbage so I try to reuse those things as much as possible (rip them up to make cleaning rags and so on). The Humane Society possibility would definitely help with those things.
I have a hard time throwing away artwork & memorabilia from when my kids were younger. I guess I want to remember every single moment – or at least the good ones! (My scrapbooks have not kept up & many things are slipping away.)
I also have trouble throwing still useful stuff around my house. I kept clinging to the thought that a day would come that I would be able to use these items, but of course the day never come. Perhaps I should take your advice and donate these stuff, at least it wouldn’t bother me so much that such useful items are left wasted.
i just want to add that freecycling things has helped me reduce this issue, there are people on there who seemingly have been searching their whole lives for the things i am trying to get rid of 🙂 it makes me glad that the old mismatched plates i have will find a new life in someone’s first apartment
I move my dish cloths into the rag bag, so they are still around a while longer.
I had a really hard time letting go of baby clothes. At one time I had 23 nappy boxes upstairs full of kids clothes. I sat and cried as I looked through them. I think they represented a time thaat would not be coming back. It took a bit of determination to sort them all out. Ebay and a carboot sale helped (money talks),as well as giving them to people I knew would like them. I also kept a few boxes of the things I couldn’t part with.
I thought of another thing that I can’t seem to get rid of: the china we got for wedding gifts. I picked out the pattern and loved it at the time, but we’ve never really used it except a few times on our anniversary. We use the crystal, but the china pattern is a “what was I THINKING” sort of deal. It’s just taking up space in our attic, but I have no idea what to do with it.
I know what you mean. I just reorganized/spring cleaned my silverware drawer and had such a hard time passing on/pairing down forks and spoons. Weird because some were the real silver that now look gross because they were run through the dishwasher a million times and no one would eat of them, yet in my head I thought these are good real silver. Anyways successfully paired down, extras in box for college daughter.
Yes still have trouble getting rid of my kids artwork. Can you believe also my 9 y/o baby clothes?–guess i know it is the end of an era! The other tough thing is family “heirlooms” that i don’t display or use.– pitchers that my Grandmom used for ice water or bowls she made brownies in…. Definitely hills and valleys.
I can relate to the kids artwork stuff, and another biggy for me are all the things I collected to make something out of one of these days. Wood, stones, feahters, rusty objects… They clutter up the store room, and I normally only get an idea on how to use something when I have just thrown that item out 🙂
I agree about the craft stuff. I’ve reasoned it so that if something has lot of potential or is considered useful those are hard to let go. Eventhought the craft material might not be something you like still with some other item it might work. And this makes it difficult to let them go.
Ornaments are easy for me to let go, they usually serve no purpose and if I don’t like them, then they will not look good where ever they are placed.
I had trouble with scrapbook supplies, too. Finally I had a sale that I advertised on Craig’s List. I sold about 80% of my stash. When I made $300.00 it made it easier to swallow! I had good uses for that cash!
P.S. Aby, I am missing entires like this one with tips for real life issues with clutter and organzing….
My post was deleted as well. Not sure why.
@skye, I wonder if your post didn’t save on Typepad… I never saw your post here. I’m sorry it didn’t save…
Aby
@ Scrapabbey, Regarding your p.s., are you saying that you wish I would do more posts like these…or are you looking for something else?
Aby
More: Informational posts, reader questions, photos,how to’s. Lately many posts are your goals for the week-end and if you met my goals; not so uselful for me. I love your blog and like lots of ideas and info. Thanks
I could not let go things which I had a wonderful memory with them. Things like my first bike from my father or jacket from my mom.